I think I was in near-labour last night...
I read later on that Mexican food is a natural inducer.....
Well had I known that I would NOT have eaten that burrito,
(with hot sauce) at lunch-time! :/
(And I just happened to also read that pineapple is also an inducer....
NOTE to self: do not eat that yummy pineapple all nicely cut up in the fridge! WAH!)
I'm not sure how 'true' these wives-tales are
but let me just say that I do finally remember what labour pains feel like again.
I had totally forgotten what they felt like
and was second-guessing myself about what was real.
But after last night....OWOWOW!!
(and they were very mild labour pains)
I REMEMBER!!
Of course they were obviously not entirely 'real',
as they did not continue on (thank goodness!).
Today we pick up Jody's mom at the airport and she will stay with us for the next few months to help out and visit. I'm looking forward to a little extra help this time around. I want to try and take care of myself too so that I am a better mommy.
And so today is basically the LAST full day that I will EVER be pregnant again...I think I'm going to eat some ice cream (not like I've been refraining or anything! heheh).
So, yes, tomorrow is the BIG day. I've decided, against all my previously "ONLY NATURAL" options. I've realized that sometimes natural birth doesn't happen despite all the hardwork and trying after ~50 hours of serious back labour and "failure to progress", was the medical term (I've heard back labour is the most excruciating type but it's really all I know and remember).
I've already experienced the heartbreak and trauma of having that hope torn from me (Brooklyn was an emergency cesarean after all that labouring and I went from my ideal natural birth to a TOTALLY UN-natural birth).
Many times since then I seriously thought I had been unduly manipulated and 'persuaded' by the doctors who I fought most with until the last minutes of each UN-natural intervention (getting medivacked, epidural, c-section etc)....but now that I think about it...after being in labour for that long, I still hadn't gone through the pushing which I heard can take many hours, especially with the first child. And I can, now, potentially see why, after 50 hours of physical labour and being totally spent even though I was FINALLY at 9cm dilated (BUT with still a 'lip') that they "highly recommended" I do the emergency cesarean. And also thinking about my water which had been broken for over 24 hours by then as well (infection rates rise after this period).
Anyhow, that is basically my first birth story in a nutshell. Very traumatic for me and I never really got over it until forcing myself to come to terms with it until....
BASICALLY now.
And so considering all of that and as well as our current circumstances and being so far away from home (again) and Jody only being able to take off 2 days max of school (he is my anchor, my support, we are a team, he is my ROCK, I would be lost without him if he wasn't there), I've opted for a repeat, planned cesarean.
Not my ideal choice but this is one decision that took me months to think about and finally decide. It was really something I would have never considered otherwise, if it were not for our current circumstances. But also, with this option, I do know more of what to expect. And having to labour again for ~50 hours is not very appealing to me especially if, need be, I did (for some reason) need that emergency cesarean again.
So in the end, I will not get my VBAC, but I will get my baby and that's all that matters in this world anyways.
Anyhow, wish us luck on our big day tomorrow! =)
I'm scared.
(seriously, if you've ever had a c-section while being wide awake,
you would be too!--it's the FREAKIEST experience EVER!)
But in spite of it all
I am very hopeful that my recovery will go smoothly
and I think bonding with baby this time around will be even more profound due to the fact that I know what to expect and I won't feel as traumatized or torn.
