Fuck.

An appropriate title for an appropriately fucktard of a week.

I have way too many things to complain about but I'll spare you the annoying details.

So I'll just say this instead:

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fucken fuckity fuck!

Fickle Friday

Wow. Today has been rough. It started with my weigh-in. At 2lbs heavier than last week. Mind you, my official weigh-in now is not until Sunday morning. 

BUT. My jeans are fitting GREAT. And I've been wearing them comfortably for a few days now. First time since my pre-preggo days. So I was a bit bummed about the weigh scale but not too much. Then my sis/trainer emailed and I tried to keep it short. Then she basically said that my food log (last week which was my first week) consists of "a great deal of sugars and fats"...this after I said I wanted to switch my protein powder (just 1/2 scoop in morning) to flax seed because either the powder or the almond butter that I am eating is giving me, must I say it 'out loud', diarrhea. Fun stuff. 

So I was trying to figure out what food item was giving me this problem but she wasn't having it because flax has more fat and not as much protein as the protein powder. And well. I understand her need, as a trainer, to nit-pick at every single item in my diet (she was talking about the dash of brown sugar and raisins in my oatmeal and the 1/2 cup of skim milk in my protein shake) but frankly, I was insulted...I have never eaten so god-damn healthy in my life, not even the first time I lost weight, a few years ago. And I'm going hard for a solid month now.

Now normally I would just shrug it off as an email misunderstanding since that is our normal way of communication (long distance-wise) but this morning I just got very upset and had to tell her that I'd talk to her later. And I proceeded to shut my office door (yes I was at work) and CRY. For a few minutes anyways. Then I quickly got a revelation and emailed her that all of these wacko symptoms (weight gain, diarrhea, cramps and sensitive mood) must be "Aunt Flow" coming to visit. 

Then JD picked me up at lunch and at home I just burst out crying about the whole thing and about how hard I've been trying to be healthy and then proceeded to cry more about how my baby girl is turning 2 tomorrow...

So sad and yes...

So, so PMSing.

I just couldn't help the cry-fest.

So anyhow, I'm feeling a bit better now. I got my workout in and am almost due for supper now...I'm just feeling mellow-ish. You know after a big cry you're all drained and mellow. 

So tonite I'm just gonna soothe my soul with some good ol' soup and then watch a movie and cuddle up with JD. Ahh, he's the best. He lets me cry like a baby when I need to. I luff him :)

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My baby turns 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh.

My baby is turning 2 on Saturday!!!!

You know, I could just pretend that this isn't happening and that she will never be over the age of 2... and that way she'll stay my little baby forever!!


...But then I'd feel bad that she'd miss her birthday party...


So I guess I better accept the fact that she is growing up :'(


*whimper, whimper, sniff, sniff*

Everywhere is self control.

So I've been watching what I eat, eating healthily, lots of chicken and veggies.
And exercising diligently 5X a week at the gym.
And keeping up with my bi-weekly budget.
Which means that no more impulse buying is involved.
And we're gradually going 'au naturel' and all around (in terms of cleaning products, food, less packaging, etc.; all in an environmentally friendly manner).

It's all a way of life. A lifestyle.

And all in all, I feel that I'm doing quite well with integrating all of these practices into me and my family's daily routine. I guess it is a growing experience for learning moderation, self control and discipline. Excessiveness is quite rude and obnoxious most times and can often ruin a good thing. Especially the way I do it. For me, it's all or nothing half the time. I'm still working on just taking or buying a little most times but it can still be tough. But it does get easier every day and with practice.

Let's hope it lasts...