Well...

Turns out I was just completely and utterly and mentally exhausted last nite. Not sure why. Was super cranky and grumpy...but honestly it sounds like MANY people in this town were also like this yesterday...

And now that I think about it, I guess it probably has to do with the some 14 or so deaths that this small little community of 2500 has experienced since November. I read in the recent newspaper that if Edmonton (with a population of 1 million) had experienced the same ratio of deaths we have had, then they would have experienced over 30,000 deaths. I'm not into doing the math so am not sure if that is correct but I'm telling you, it sure feels like that kind of absolute burden.

To me, this brings some light as to why everybody in town has been so sad and even just feeling a little lost. Especially in such a small town where everyone knows everyone, many people are friends and most people are related in some manner.

To make matters especially heart-wrenching a local 16 year old girl is in a coma from a recent skidoo accident. We are all praying for her to successfully come out of her coma and hoping that she pulls through. It is a waiting game.

So basically, yesterday I was going to go to a funeral (for a family friend who passed away last week) but for various reasons I didn't get to go. This also happened earlier this month for another funeral that I wanted to attend and pay my respects to but didn't get to. And so I was a bit angry at the world...understandably so.

Three times a charm!

Wow, three postings in one day...
After, what...three months of non-posting?! geesh...

You know you're bored and having a hard time when:

• work is currently shit (no, not the shit)
• food is a constant struggle and acting like your enemy
• husband is being a stupid, retarded baby worse than your 16 month old toddler!
• toddler is being very demanding (on the plus side, not as bad as the husband)
• there is no sanity-saving sanctuary in my own home (not yet anyhow)
• it's mother f*#%en cold outside!!! (-40 can suck the fat right off my ass!!)
• seeking mind-expanding opportunities (my summer grad courses) and all that is involved (travel, food, accommodations, tuition etc etc...!) is going to cost me a f*#%en arm and a leg!!

Fuck sakes.
Tuesdays suck.

My blessed sauna has arrived!!!!

Why oh why do I feel the need to be so fricken obsessive at times...???!!!

Well, my sauna is officially here!!! Wooohooo!!
And now I can't wait for it to be set up so I can finally work on quieting my damn busy mind!!!

.....Bzzzzzzzz...bzzzzzzzz...bzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

This is all I hear all day and frankly it's getting quite annoying!!! :S

Anger splashed with realizations.

Well I've gained a few pounds back. Which is to be expected. But I just got so angry though this morning and felt so defeated...but then I remembered that this is not a new year's resolution nor a quick fix nor a easy fix at that. It takes time and hard work, just like everything else worth doing. And that I must keep trying and eating healthy and keep it up. I can't give up. It was easy once before and it can become normal and easy once again. With hard work and determination.