Tuesday, December 23

Christmas traditions =)

Making a Gingerbread House!!!




Making cookies!!!


YUM!



MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!


Wednesday, December 17

Tuesday, December 16

Excited and busy!

I'm sooooo excited!! JD gets home in t-minus 4 sleeps!! We haven't seen him in 2 months!! Brooklyn is talking about "daddy" everyday really lots now. I can tell she really misses him.
He gets home very late Friday evening (early Saturday morning) after driving 14 or so hours to get home. And Saturday evening, we've got a babysitter lined up so we can go to his work's Christmas party. It should be a fun night. We rarely go out like that =)

And then my girls are taking me out on the town next week (most of us have that week off) for my 30th birthday to go DANCING!! I haven't been out dancing in awhile! Phew! It's gonna be a blast =)

And THEN! The day or two after Christmas we are making a trip to Vancouver to visit my sister nda her little family for New Years!!! Can't WAIT to see them and watch Brooklyn play with her little cousin Dariusz!!

On another note regarding busy. I've been trying to get to doing some reading and research to nail down my thesis topic...so far I know who I'll be working with (a Bison Ecologist here in town) and I know that I'll be doing some kind of mapping and ecological work with regards to Wood Bison (buffalo) that we have up here. Maybe something dealing with transmission of disease between herds (turbucolosis/brucellosis) as those issues are big up here. So needless to say, I'll be reading lots before Friday when I go meet with the Bison Ecologist. I want to have my thesis proposal in to my University supervisor before January. Wish me luck! I feel like I know nothing! ack!

Oh! And I am staying home for a third week with JD and my lil' Buddha!!! I decided that I'll take another block-week condensed course in the Spring. After reading up some more about it, I just didn't think that the course I signed up for in January was very much in line with my degree, so I opted out. But I'm really happy with that decision!! I get to be with my family for an extra week!!! =D

YAYYYY!!!

Saturday, December 13

Money, Money!

I love you Mony mo-mo-mony
I love you Mony mo-mo-mony sure I do

Cause you make me feel
So good, so good
Well I feel all right
You're so fine, you're so fine
You're, and I feel all right
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah



(Mony, Mony lyrics by Billy Idol)



Okayyy. 
So I don't think money should make you feel that good...
(plus, I know he's not quite singing about money but that's my personal interpretation of the day...)
But money does come in handy when I am on a shopping spree, teehee!

Although, lately, I must admit that I am not pleased with money. 

The reason? 
The drop of the Canadian dollar.
It's always basically been at a lower value than the US dollar. 
But this year, it was up to par (practically equal) to the US dollar for months and months and months and I LOVED it! 
I was able to buy stuff online at basically the same exchange rate which is practically unheard of (to me anyways, since I've been old enough to buy stuff)

But since oil prices have gone back down (which is also a good thing but in this case, a catch-22) the CAD dollar goes down too. Oh well, it's one or the other...and I suppose gas prices win hands down, understandably so.



Here are the:

3 STAGES OF EMOTIONS 
As The Value of Money 
Goes Down In The Dumpers (Again)



First there was DISGUST.



Then ANGER.



Now it's just plain SADNESS.

(yeah, I know...boohoo, Vita. Go away and cry! hehe)



Oh! I just realized that it looks like I'm flippin' the bird! 
No, I am not! hehe! 
If you look closely, there is a Canadian $10 bill in my hand! 
(no it's not play money! teehee)


(PS-teehee I love photobooth...my blog will never have to go a post without pics ever again!)


Thursday, December 11

GORGEOUS goodies!!!

Ohhhh, GOODY!!!!

I've been Christmas shopping!! 
*for myself*
Here are some of the recent beauties that I've received! =)


(Mind my scruffiness and sweats: 
I've been at home for 3-4 straight days with my poor fevered up girl)


A GORGEOUS turquoise ring 
along with some copper earrings (on my little ears) that I got in the mail today from:
The most awesomest jewellery shop EVER! 

Pizzazz!!!


Aaaand...some lovely, feminine earrings also from The Noisy Plume.
I'm wearing these gorgeous beauties for the family Christmas dinner, for my hubby's work Christmas party AND for our family pictures! =)


I am SOOO addicted to that shop!!


Stay tuned for more goodies from that same shop as well as some more 
gorgeous beauties from another most favourite and awesomest shop of mine!! ;)

Wednesday, December 10

Oh, Christmas tree!!


Tout fini! 


All lit up =)


Tuesday, December 9

Little girl sick.

Fever range today = 102-105  
My poor girl . . . 
='(

(don't worry, momma went to give BIG but gentle hugs right after this pic)

I'm 30 . . .

. . . and thriving!!! :D
The 30's are gonna be AWESOME!!! 


Now if I can only figure out SOMETHING with my hair! Ugh.
(The masses of grey hairs at the top are making me think I might be 60-ish!)

Hairdo day on Saturday :)

Friday, December 5

Winter = Cold.

BRRRR!!!!

It.
Is.
COLD!


The current temperature is -26C. 
With a forecasted temperature of -30C tonight! 
Not too far off...

We were starting to really get spoiled there with our very unusually mild November winter weather. But I guess all good and dreamy things must eventually come to an end.

The days are getting shorter too.
Daylight occurs from 9:10am until 3:27pm.
And that time is closing more and more each day.
Soon it will seem like I won't be seeing the light of day at all.
And that will nearly be the truth!


It's definitely a winter wonderland out there.

On my front doorstep at ~8am the other morning during a snowfall day.



At my work doorstep ~8:30am (shhh, I was late...).



Me at work. 
(I guess I don't use that sponge board on the wall back there...)



This is my art. 
Along with many 'behind the scenes' processes.
(mind the MESSY desk!)

Wednesday, December 3

On a good note.


I am turning 30 on Sunday!!!!!


(yes, it IS good!)


WHOOOOOT!!!


I have a GREAT feeling that I'm gonna LOVE my dirty 30's!!!! hehe! To be honest my 20's sucked royal ass . . . I learnt ALOT, so that I am thankful for. But I got pushed around, dismissed, neglected and was so insecure that I could just curl up and cry. And, in fact, did so on many, many occasions.


Now I realize, that that is exactly what the 20's were for. To learn.


(Not that it stops there.)


But now that I'm closer to 30's (almost there!), I feel so much more confident and ready to take on the world with my better learnt abilities to deal with the shit that crosses my path (and, yes, of course the happiness too)!! And I'm looking forward to this new phase in my life!! eeee!! I'm REALLY excited about it which is SO not how I pictured turning 30 (thank God!)! Not that I'll do everything right . . . cuz I'm sure I'll do LOTS of things wrong still. But atleast I won't feel shitty about it anymore. I'm so over that.


So bring it on, 30, full force!! =D

-
I also have this little monkey to thank! =D

Fart.

Pardon the term. But the fact that I may have to leave for school a week earlier than originally planned, really sucks big farts. This means that JD and I will only get to spend 2 weeks together, over the holidays, instead of 3.

I can't wait till this show is OVER!





5 months and counting . . .



Monday, December 1

Mundane Monday.

Ok. 

So I took a 'mental health' day today . . . aka "sick day" at work. I just needed a break. To be ALONE. Know what I mean?! 

I was pretty happy about not doing ANYTHING, but by the end of it I got kinda leery about doing absolutely nothing and having too much time to think!

Here is how my day went and what I did (or didn't do):

~ate my morning oatmeal while checking emails etc.
~fed the dogs
~watched home improvement shows
all morning
~drank coffee and ate 2 pieces of lovely Lindt mint chocolate (
yes, IN the morning!)
~did some surfing on 
Etsy et al.
~ate lunch
~watched some more tv . . . by this time, I can't even remember what
~did
NOT go to the gym  *GASP!*
~turned into a squash-like vegetable (
ok, so  this didn't REALLY happen, but it could have!)


It was super NICE until about 2pm when I started to feel like I was getting bed sores (or couch sores) and proceeded to wonder if this 'doing nothing' thing was such a good idea after all . . .

I continued to linger a little bit longer BUT by 3pm I had had enough and headed for the shower. At this point, the anxiety and regret set in and my mind went WILD . . . thinking about everything in the sun from, 'oh I should have done  the dishes/tidied up my pig-sty house' > to financials > to mommy-guilt > to sisterly evolutions > to leaving for 4 months without my baby > to only seeing JD for 3 weeks at Christmas etc., etc., etc . . . like totally random, all over the place and uncontrolled, scattered thoughts.

Soooo. I quit thinking and went off I went to grab some groceries, check the mail (yayy, more goodies) and pick up Brooklyn from the dayhome (aka mommy-guilt). And do the normal routine of cooking, eating supper with my baby girl and doing the dishes . . . 

AND well. 
I felt better!

So, I guess I've discovered that my brain turns to mush and is a breeding ground for scatter-brained bucketness after more than 5 hours of doing NOTHING

And THAT is my maximum limit. 
After that, I MUST do something!!! 


Picture taken just over a year ago on Brooklyn's 1st Bday! 
Totally tuckered out and just chillin' with her handsome daddy =)

Saturday, November 29

No, I am not an addict . . .

I SWEAR IT!

My jewellery box . . . filled with juicy, juicy RINGS!!
(first I started with plastic/lucite, then moved on to glass and now I am IN LOVE with stones and metal work!!)



My current faves; mostly exquisite stones and GORGEOUS metal work!! =)



I am IN LOVE with turquoise . . .

Can't. 
Get. 
Enough.



It's a good thing that I cannot make my own rings!! 
But also a darn shame!  

Saturday's are the best!


Me and Boo (she's so cute!)

So I am currently 'watching' Bridget Jones' Diary for the umpteenth time. I say 'watching' in parentheses because I think I have the whole movie memorized by now and don't really need to watch it to know exactly what they're going to say! =D 

Today, Brooklyn and I went to "the shop" to go get a treat. "The shop" is just down the road where daddy works and also the ski-doo store that my father and uncle used to own (where my brother still works and now my hubby too). So it's a local private business that is basically still in the family . And today was their Annual Open House which always promises, each year, some kind of yummy goodies. Brooklyn chose a BIG chocolate chip cookie that her uncle thought was almost as big as she! heheh!

Then we headed to a local craft sale where people were selling their handmade goodies. It was alright, even with Missy Crankenstein acting up (it was close to nap time and she must have been crashing from that sugary cookie). I knew we wouldn't be staying long after she lay down on the floor, face first, in front of everyone! heheh! Needless to say,  we didn't get too much stuff but I saw some beautiful framed photographs and crafts there. And it's always good to support your local craftspeople! I am always amazed by the talent that is out there!! =D

Wednesday, November 26

I wait.

Just waiting for the weekend to arrive . . .

It's taking FOREVER!!  =/

Monday, November 24

Need. New. Glasses. Ugh...

Ok. So I DON'T do glasses...until recently. 

I've had glasses for a long while but have never, EVER really needed to use them (ok, I admit it, I just had them to look smart occasionally)

But basically, the short explanation is: I only have one 'useful eye'. The other eye (my right) is null and void or just plain fuzzy. I had  'lazy eye syndrome' (and still occasionally do since apparently my sister can tell when I'm really, really tired, LOL!) when I was little and had a few eye surgeries to help correct the crossing of the eyes. But regardless, I've always had 20/20 vision in my left eye, (which over-compensates quite well for the other eye) and I've always had near 'perfect' vision as far as seeing things goes (in my opinion anyways)

However, since being pregnant, my eyesight (meaning my left eye) is withering away along with my butt! That wasn't the plan!! But I am slowly going blind, month after month!! Ackkk!!! And I can't handle it!! I've never experienced not being able to see things before! I'm still hoping that the next pregnancy, whenever that may be (soon), will jolt my eyeball back into 20/20! I really am sure this will happen. You might call it denial, but I just call it being fixed. 

But until then, this means I have to get new glasses...ugh!! I do not like this. I do not like this at all...glasses are EXPENSIVE!!! And also this means I may even have to get contacts since I don't want to wear glasses ALL the time...this is not good. I just don't do well with having to touch my eyeballs...


Me wearing my current glasses that are not *strong* enough anymore =( 

I am not happy about it. Really. 
I just look semi-happy, but really I'm crying inside  =)

Sunday, November 23

I've been fiddling around with different blog backgrounds today (thanks for the link, Kate!!!) . . . and I posted a photo that I took of the Libyan Sea, in the main heading of my blog.

I took this picture after an 18 kilometre hike down the Samaria Gorge, while JD and I were vacating in Crete (Greece) back in 2005. I call it our 'reunion hike', after being apart for nearly half a year, while I worked in Norway. JD was never much into hiking (I LOVE it!) but I think halfway through, he managed to (thankfully) get that 'hiker's high' and pulled out a few smiles. Through and through, I think he secretly enjoyed it ;)

I took this picture looking down into the water from the ferry shortly after our long and exhilarating hike down the gorge. I just couldn't get over how turquoise it was!! I rarely take 'good' pictures but I admittedly love looking at this photo everyday, as it is also the background pic on my laptop =)

Ohh, how I miss those beautiful, bright turquoise waters . . . and my man . . . we're currently 1/6th into ANOTHER (nearly) 6 month long distance stint :/

OY! I can't wait till we finally get our act together! :P

Saturday, November 22

Me and my girl :)

My beautiful :)


Me and my lil' Buddha :)


Goofing around on Photo Booth.
Like mother, like daughter :D

Friday, November 21

I am back on my way to a healthier life!

I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so HAPPY!!!

I couldn't be happier!! :D
I am finally getting my health back! Physically and also this time, in terms of family balance, nutrition and overall lifestyle. It's taken me over 2 years to get it back, but it's been a journey and a definite learning experience. One of which, I hope to never repeat.

And after working out in the gym 5 days a week and eating clean for roughly 85% of the time since July, I feel fit, healthy (not sick) and FREE! I can't wait to fit into my a pair of size 8's for once in my life! On my way therrr...

Even dear hubby is taking on some of my new-found and healthy habits!! *gasp* He's started working out in the gym, in the city, and is trying to eat more healthy foods. It's just amazing to see his mind open to all that. And I'm glad I can be such a positive influence on him. And I'm so grateful for my own support system. I am truly a changed person. And I hope continue on with this wonderful and healthier way of life :)

I am LOVING IT!

Now if I can just kick this nasty (but thrilling) shopping habit that I've used to replace food, lol :S

Thursday, November 20

Honesty is definitely a refreshing characteristic.

And I think it can be agreed, that DOING THE RIGHT THING takes guts and courage.


We are ALL striving to become better, achieve more and improve our ways. This is normal. But don't lose sight of the true meaning of passion, or TRUE VALUE of integrity or of individualism. This is a struggle for us all.

Well it's official.

I miss my man =(

I miss him for all the things he does around the house.
I miss him for being an awesome daddy and helping out with Brooklyn.
I miss him for being the best and most understanding partner ever.
And I miss him for his company and his presence.

4 more weeks!!!


PS-Kate, where are you...? I forgot to go on msn last weekend. Sorry =(

Wednesday, November 19

Wow.

I'm really amazed...as an avid and passionate collector of unique jewellery and things...you would expect more integrity and creativity in the world...

But sometimes. I guess not.

How sad. How very sad indeed.

But regardless, I won't be wasting my money on the likes of those who, quite obviously, choose to copy other people's hard-earned work. And I won't be forwarding said store links either (or those related who ACTUALLY support that kind of thing!) to ANY of my friends!

Funny thing is I make money...and I LOVE spending it too. And I'm just gettin' started ;) I have become a very picky and loyal customer. But it never ceases to amaze me, in this life, just how far ignorance will get you. But with someone like me, that is not far. At all. I honestly feel gypped! But myself, and customers alike, won't tolerate shit and definitely NOT stolen knock-offs. 

But oh well. Life is too short for me to waste my breath on it as well (let alone my money!).

So on with the shopping spree, I say!! ;)


PS - Isn't there a support group for Etsy addicts like me?! =)

Sunday, November 16

It's gettin' cold!

(Wow. A double-blogging day! Within minutes, no less!)

It's finally getting cold outside...November, this year, has been uncharacteristically, but pleasantly warm this year. Only in the -2°C to -4°C range which is superb winter weather for doing ANYTHING fun outside. But the forecast is warning that it is now headed up and up into the -20°C ranges....and that just means that it will be double that, come January =(

Oy vay...

I'm gonna need to eventually have to break down and invest in a big, solid, wolf-fur hooded parka and some nice, beautifully-beaded moccasins!

Life is Happening.

It's been busy around here...hence the neglection of the blog. 

(Neglection...is that even a word?? Spell check doesn't think so. And so I suppose neither does the regular English dictionary.)

JD has been gone for 1 month already and is to be returning not yet for another month. So, needless to say, I've been experiencing what it's like to be a single mommy. I have found that it's highly stressful, challenging and yet very rewarding all in one. I really admire those parents who are actually raising their children by themselves...it sure takes a lot out of a gal (or a guy) without having that extra help from your other half. 

I do admit that, however challenging it is, and despite having to be the main "meanie mommie/parent" (disciplinarian), that with JD gone I also get to be the "cuddle-bear". Usually that is daddy's job, the lucky guy, so that is definitely a nice, added bonus!! I always was the main tickle-monster in the house, so I am glad that I can add cuddle-bear to my ever-expanding "resum-mommé" =). 

I am also learning patience I felt I never had before so I am grateful for that experience, just as grateful as I am to better appreciate my wonderful husband and best possible father to my child (and children to be). The one and only who is anxiously waiting to come back home to be with his girls =) . Being together again as a family, this year, is going to be our biggest Christmas gift ever!

Friday, September 19

Let's get physical!

♪♫ Dun-dun-da...da-da-da,da,da! ♪♫

Soooo.....looks like my metabolism is BACK ON TRACK!!!
BOO-YAHH!!!!


*doing a little break-dance* YEAH!


Holy crap...that took how long??!
8 loooong months?!
Faaack...what an experience to never forget.
YUP!
Am SOOOOO glad I didn't give up on myself!

Nothing like a little bit (or a lot) of weight-training and working my ass off, literally, to knock it back into submission!

BOW DOWN TO ME, ME-TA-BO-LISM!!!
BOWWWW!!! (♪♫ bow-chicka-wow-wow ♪♫)



Me to the tummy: Lose that pound of fat, NOW!
Me to the thigh: Get rid of that inch of fat, IMMEDIATELY!!
Me to the ass: Build up that MUSCLE, more reps...MORE REPS DAMN YOU!!!



.............................................................................................


Damn it feels good to be in the groove once again!!!!!



*sigh*
--

Wednesday, September 17

Another week.

Well, things around here (and in my head) have cleared up alot.
That was some nasty bitchiness I was going through, hola!
Could it just have been side effects of being off sugar for so long (aka eating clean diet)??
Could that have altered my normal PMS moods to horrific and nauseating levels??
Maybe so.

In any case, I cleared that up with a huge junkfood binge on Saturday after those 2 glasses of wine that I had Friday nite which left me (ugh) hungover like a weeping willow! Very weird...did not know 2 glasses of wine can do that to a person, geesh! My trainer/sis said that it could be because my carb levels are a bit lower these days (b/c I eat more protein) and so there is less food to soak up the alcohol (YUP, was I ever drunk!). That and the fact that I haven't drank in over two months. Cuz we all know how bad alcohol is for weight loss! :O

But not to worry...I was back on track, after my binge, and all set to have a good week starting the next day on Sunday.

My weight training and workouts are going really good! I have, so far in the last 3 weeks, lost 1 inch on my chest, 2 inches on my waist and 1.5 inches on my hips. My pre-preggo clothes are starting to fit nicely again!!! As for my weight, well it hasn't budged much but am now able to focus on inches so that has made me a tad less obsessed with the weigh scale. Which is a nice change.

There is, once again, some positivity in the cool crisp, fall weather air!!

Friday, September 12

Me likey.

My favourite things are music, wine, sex and chocolate. 
And they all go really good together too. 

Go figure.

Out of control, dude!

So much for controlling my VISA spending habits....

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I guess I should feel better that I didn't eat my way into oblivion????

Yes...that is a question.

Hmmm.....
Two options??
Rich vs. slim (or, poor or fat).

Let us ponder this and examine what we want to be when we grow up...

Wednesday, September 10

Blah.

Another appropriately titled blog.
But atleast it has a tad less anger and vulgarity involved in it.
I DO apologize for yesterday's ruuuude words of choice. Oy!
So yeah, today is blah-y.
Which is certainly better than yesterday and the days before.

And in spite of it all, I have been able to control myself.
I only had cake on Sunday for my little Buddha's birthday!
Boy was it ever a harsh sugar rush...yuck!

...AND I saw this really big, awesome ring online (check my Etsy faves; its the big turquoise one at the top) while at the fore-front of my angst yesterday and surprisingly it is still sitting there and not being paid for by my VISA! Phew! That was certainly a close call! I managed to ease my mind instead with a pep-talk from my sis.

Boy, that PMS kicked my ass, real good this time around...!

Tuesday, September 9

Fuck.

An appropriate title for an appropriately fucktard of a week.
I have way too many things to complain about but I'll spare you the annoying details.
So I'll just say this instead:

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fucken fuckity fuck!

Friday, September 5

Fickle Friday

Wow. Today has been rough. It started with my weigh-in. At 2lbs heavier than last week. Mind you, my official weigh-in now is not until Sunday morning. 

BUT. My jeans are fitting GREAT. And I've been wearing them comfortably for a few days now. First time since my pre-preggo days. So I was a bit bummed about the weigh scale but not too much. Then my sis/trainer emailed and I tried to keep it short. Then she basically said that my food log (last week which was my first week) consists of "a great deal of sugars and fats"...this after I said I wanted to switch my protein powder (just 1/2 scoop in morning) to flax seed because either the powder or the almond butter that I am eating is giving me, must I say it 'out loud', diarrhea. Fun stuff. 

So I was trying to figure out what food item was giving me this problem but she wasn't having it because flax has more fat and not as much protein as the protein powder. And well. I understand her need, as a trainer, to nit-pick at every single item in my diet (she was talking about the dash of brown sugar and raisins in my oatmeal and the 1/2 cup of skim milk in my protein shake) but frankly, I was insulted...I have never eaten so god-damn healthy in my life, not even the first time I lost weight, a few years ago. And I'm going hard for a solid month now.

Now normally I would just shrug it off as an email misunderstanding since that is our normal way of communication (long distance-wise) but this morning I just got very upset and had to tell her that I'd talk to her later. And I proceeded to shut my office door (yes I was at work) and CRY. For a few minutes anyways. Then I quickly got a revelation and emailed her that all of these wacko symptoms (weight gain, diarrhea, cramps and sensitive mood) must be "Aunt Flow" coming to visit. 

Then JD picked me up at lunch and at home I just burst out crying about the whole thing and about how hard I've been trying to be healthy and then proceeded to cry more about how my baby girl is turning 2 tomorrow...

So sad and yes...
So, so PMSing.
I just couldn't help the cry-fest.

So anyhow, I'm feeling a bit better now. I got my workout in and am almost due for supper now...I'm just feeling mellow-ish. You know after a big cry you're all drained and mellow. 

So tonite I'm just gonna soothe my soul with some good ol' soup and then watch a movie and cuddle up with JD. Ahh, he's the best. He lets me cry like a baby when I need to. I luff him :)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Wednesday, September 3

My baby turns 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh.

My baby is turning 2 on Saturday!!!!

You know, I could just pretend that this isn't happening and that she will never be over the age of 2... and that way she'll stay my little baby forever!!


...But then I'd feel bad that she'd miss her birthday party...


So I guess I better accept the fact that she is growing up :'(


*whimper, whimper, sniff, sniff*

Everywhere is self control.

So I've been watching what I eat, eating healthily, lots of chicken and veggies.
And exercising diligently 5X a week at the gym.
And keeping up with my bi-weekly budget.
Which means that no more impulse buying is involved.
And we're gradually going 'au naturel' and all around (in terms of cleaning products, food, less packaging, etc.; all in an environmentally friendly manner).

It's all a way of life. A lifestyle.

And all in all, I feel that I'm doing quite well with integrating all of these practices into me and my family's daily routine. I guess it is a growing experience for learning moderation, self control and discipline. Excessiveness is quite rude and obnoxious most times and can often ruin a good thing. Especially the way I do it. For me, it's all or nothing half the time. I'm still working on just taking or buying a little most times but it can still be tough. But it does get easier every day and with practice.

Let's hope it lasts...

Saturday, August 30

Taking advice from a 2 year old.

Well my stomach has been pretty darn upset today...just like last weekend.
Can't eat much. I don't know why it has been so upside-down lately....

So I asked Brooklyn what I should do. 
I mean what else do you do when you are stuck at home, feeling so sick, with only your 2 year old around. With no other adults (hubby) to help baby/take care of me...? :(

Here is our conversation:

Mommie: Brooklyn, mommie is sick. Mommie's tummy really hurts. I can't eat anything...

Brooklyn: Owympics, mommie.

Mommie: What...? Did you say 'Olympics'? Are you crazy?! I can't join the Olympics when I'm this sick! I can't even eat! What can mommie possibly eat for supper...??

Brooklyn: Eat soup, momma.

Mommie: Hmmm...that is actually a good idea.

Brooklyn (as a question): Mommie eat sum toast??

Mommie (after a long pause): Well that is pretty darn good advice Brooklyn! How did you do that? 

Brooklyn: Mommie's tummy sick.

Mommie: Yes it is, smartie pants! I may just follow your advice!


LOL! Only from a 2 year old! (I'm sure its just cuz she wants toast herself...its her fave).

But how did she get everything so on the ball!?? Soup AND toast for a sick stomach!? Geesh! I may just get her in med school yet!

Like I said...SMARTIE-PANTS!! ;-D

Friday, August 29

A Girls' Weekend

It's just me and Boo at home this weekend. Well atleast until Sunday nite. JD went camping with the boys for a few days. You know...doing the 'guy thing'.

So it's just me and her doing a 'girl thang' this weekend.
I luff her :)

So far...

...so good!!

In terms of eating...am on day 20/21 of 'clean eating'. That's about 94% clean in almost a month! I rock, hehe!

However, am having some stomach issues this week...oy! I've upped my calorie intake to 1800 since Monday so maybe this is my body still getting used to it...let's hope so.

I am at work, but just got word, like 2 sec ago, that we are allowed to leave early at 3pm (in 5 min)...so am going to the gym early so that I can be home earlier! YAY! You just gotta love Fridays like that!! And it's a long weekend too! BONUS!! :D

Monday, August 25

Well...a big frightening, yet courageous, step forward.

So I've got my own personal trainer! My sister!!
Well, yes for me she's free :P teehee!
She's so great!
She's been giving me hints and tips for the past 2 months now of which I've actually listened. I've decided that I need all the help I can get...so am throwing myself into this with my everything. And letting her tell me what to do and what to eat.

*gasp*

Yeah that's a big revelation for me to do, hehe!

But seriously, I'm ready. I'm just ready to live this life and be fit and healthy. Screw fucken useless diets and screw the fucked up metabolism that comes along with them!!! Yes, my friends, I've been dealing with a hi-jacked metabolism for the past 5 or 6 months or so. Or longer, who knows!! Sis says I am not eating enough and with the workout regime that she has given me I should be eating atleast 1600. ATLEAST. That has been my bare maximum calorie range...I BARELY eat that much on a regular basis!!! And I have barely been losing pounds too. Go fucking figure, right?! Maybe she's on to something with this whole eating thing...

AND, with all the weight training she's has me doing, my ass is about 1/4 less, my stomach is less flubbery/more defined and my legs have a nice muscle tone to them; which NEVER has happened before (the leg part)! So she's getting me to measure myself so that I can also gauge by tape measure instead of just solely the bastard of a weigh scale...after all muscle weighs more, right?! Right. And it also burns more fat while you are just sitting there in front of your computer at work, while blogging on your personal blog ;P

But to be honest...I am all for the fitness and working-out thing. It's just the eating thing that I have been struggling with (well, duh). But with her telling me to eat more; well now, that is just plain confusing. But then again I see her point too. And this whole "maximum range" mentality is so engrained in my brain that I am now feeling brainwashed. I feel like I got duped...because for awhile, yes it did work. It worked brilliantly. But for MANY, MANY (did I mention MANY?!)months now it is NOT.

It all started about 2 months ago...this epiphany and mentality change in me. Counting calories was just not working by itself anymore for me. So I started working out and joined the gym. Good, yes?! Awesome. Sure, but I still wanted to make a lifetime eating habit change...something I can naturally stick to without having to plunk in my fucken daily calorie intake into some software. So I focused on "eating clean". And read about it and looked it up after my sister told me how she maintains her weight (she mentioned 'eating clean' so, naturally, the computer geek that I am, I googled it). This lead me to reading about eating natural foods; lots of veggies, fruits, wheats, meats etc. and to stay away from packaged and processed foods. Which is common sense but c'mon, who actually practices this shizzit, lol?! But it got me to reading about being addicted to sugar. And FOR SURE, I am!!! Well...aren't we all, I guess, hehe?! Soo...I got rid of ALL of our packaged junk in the house and I don't buy it anymore. Our grocery list is full of wholesome, natural items. Treats may come on the weekend at a leisurely but moderate pace. So be it.

But seriously, this has helped me to get a step closer in the 'right' direction of where I want to be, say in 1 or 2 years. And then pretty much how I want to live my life down the road. That doesn't mean not eating ANY sugar, or ice cream or chocolate or wine. It just means limiting myself of those things and 'eating clean' for atleast 90% of my week. I am gradually turning that week into a 90% clean month. And I have to say, my fridge is STILL full from last thursday's grocery haul...and I'm right on budget too!!! Neither of which EVER happens! So it's benefiting more than just my fat, but dwindling ass.

Anyhow, back to my epiphany...even with all these great eating habits and changes that I've made, the weight scale has been ok...but still rather a yo-yo from hell as I have still been eating under 1600 a day maximum. And sis has been telling me softly for the past while that I need to eat more but I kept on saying no. No, that I'll do everything else she says except that. Because that is what I know and that is what I'm used to and what has worked in the past.

The problem is, as I just outrightly realized so boldly (today), is that it just isn't working anymore.

And as such, after realizing said current life situation today, I am just a bag of emotional (but fat) bones. And I've just had it with my fucking bouncing weigh scale acting like it's in the Olympic Gold medal yo-yo class! So I've decided to let my guard down and do whatever sis says. After all, she is the one who is rock-solid just 10 months post-baby (well she may not think she is but I sure am damn impressed!). So who am I to know what the hell my body needs in this urgent time of decreasing my BMI from obese to overweight (which is my current status although it is dwindling on the dotted line of this and obese!), to finally normal...??? I've been getting fat for about 15 years...so that makes me an expert in losing weight?! Uh. I think not. Quite the opposite in fact. Duh.

So! I'm ALLLL in! Count me in and just tell me what I need to do! I'm here and I'm going to fucking do it this time...and maybe then I can also kick this calorie counting obsession/eating disorder that I've just recently (like today) become aware of that I have!! Oy!

Tuesday, August 19

Living downstream from a poisoned playground...

Look at this fish closely...YES, you are seeing right. It's got 2 mouths....!

I live directly downstream from this. Just 100km north of all those people in Fort Chip with all the recent and rare cancers. I've heard of fish having 2 tails, 2 sets of eyes etc.; different mutations than this one...

Please remember: so many people around here still live traditional lifestyles and hunt and fish in these land and waters ALL the time! For food!

This may all seem like it's coming straight out of a Simpson's cartoon, but unfortunately for us, it's real life up here. And not from mining and operating nuclear power, but from mining the oil sands of northern Alberta.

So. This is what our government is up to around here...mining our lands for the last drop of oil. All the while poisoning the people and the environment. For money.

I guess some people and some governments really do whatever it takes for a bit of cold, hard cash. I just never thought that my own government, Canada's government, would ever stoop so blindly and so low, to this level of blatant carelessness.

And then turning a blind eye to it.
That's the worst possible criminal behaviour of all.

It's just SO sad that our government cannot see the light on this issue. Instead they only see the dollar signs...and in 10 years, when the oil has run out and the people are left to attempt to heal their cancer-riddened health and to reclaim the vast destruction of their backyard land from mining these oil sands...it will SO not be worth it.

It already isn't...for proof of that, just "Google" about all the rare cancers coming about in the extremely small population of Fort Chip (that is NOT normal!).

This topic up here is a HUGE controversy but the Alberta government is large and in charge...and the Feds are either in cahoots with that provincial government or they don't have the balls to shut it down (or to even slow it down). But most likely all of the above...

How is this happening?! How will I explain to my children about what is happening to them, to their family, to their friends, to their land?? Because we are all being affected. And how will I explain that the government just doesn't care about us!? But nothing new around here I guess. Very sad situation indeed.

And where are our proper government leaders when you need them?!

How many mutated animals do we have to show, how many gallons of freshwater do they have to take away from us only to return it back into the watershed system that is laden with toxins and poisons, how many acres of land do they have to rape and pillage and how many people have to die before something RIGHT and RESPONSIBLE gets done?!

Where has our responsible government gone???

The only fight is with the good people now...the people who are directly affected...and those that care about them. To spread the word around about these toxins flowing directly into our system by industry and government who are bedding together. And to create a ruckus. How else are we supposed to get through to our nonsensicle government??



Educate yourself.
And speak out loud.
Sometimes it is the only way to be heard.


The link to this fish mutation and national news story: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/edmonton/story/2008/08/18/chip-fish.html

Sunday, August 17

Thursday, August 14

I've got a bad case of the "baby itch"!!

Lately, I've really been wanting another baby...although, I must admit, that this is not entirely characteristic of me. I am honestly not a baby person... when all they do is eat, poop and sleep and are latched to the boob 24/7 for 12+ months.............. Yes, I do remember that "boob-time".....some mommies love that time.........but for me.............Oy. Can't wait to do it again :-/

Honestly, I prefer them when they are of toddler age (like Brooklyn who is almost 2 right now); when they are walking (running & falling & scraping knees), talking (whining & screaming & favourite sayings are things like "DON'T DO DAT!"), feeding themselves (my personal thoughts on this are "why oh why did I buy that new, IVORY couch before you were born?! Cuz, it's starting to look a disparaging shade of GREY!") and building their own negotiating skills (she is a PRO at temper tantrumming all while throwing herself on the floor screaming bloody murder). But...it is all very funny to me. Of course I don't let her see me laughing and giggling while she is raging on the floor yelling at me. But she's my own little personal entertainer and I guess I like a good challenge ;-)

But lately, too, I've been watching her be sooo happy playing with her little, baby cousin and the other little kids at daycare and listening to her sing her ABC's (she's almost got it all down pat!) and I just want her to have a little sister or brother to be able to play with as she grows up.

Unfortunately. My short-term plans (but thank gawd they are only short-term!) are to head back to school for 4 months in January. Meaning I have to WAIT. I have to move away, all by myself, to the city (1400km away!) to complete my masters degree coursework. There are no other options really. JD will stay here with her to keep his job and to keep her in daycare here (took us 2 years of being on the 'waiting list' of ALL the local dayhome/cares to finally get her in one!) and I will still have my good job when I return. But atleast if I get my coursework part done, I can start working on my thesis, back here at home. Then, just maybe then, after the courses, we can get pregnant!

...and Lord knows that JD is also really wanting another little critter around and that baby girl is turning 2 in less than a month!! There is so much pressure, these days, to spit your babies out one after another so that they are not too far apart in age. And I'm having a hard time lately convincing myself not to relent to that pressure and to just get my coursework done!

So, anyhow, I know that I really just need to focus on finishing this coursework before I do the baby thing again...because after all: having a latcher or being 9 months huge and preggo while attending hard-core classes while being 1400km away from my baby girl, my superhero hubby and my home, can't be the most desirable or comfortable thing. Right.

Wednesday, August 13

Situation critical.

Whoa...I almost didn't' make it yesterday...I had to have an emergency banana before going shopping after work (AND after my workout!!) while on starvation mode...AND I had to drag the husband and my 2 yr old baby girl with me. ALL of these things can contribute to severe modifications to my original and healthy grocery list!

But...I did GOOD! I said "no" to the roll of cookie dough that my husband was trying to shove in my face and "no" to a big bag of chips that my 2 yr old had in her own little cart. And I got mostly fruits, veggies, w.w. bread, chicken and all the other normal stuff on my list! Phew!

So I am personally eating all 'natural' snacks this week (gotta practice what you preach!) like a fruit and celery with a small amount of peanut butter. Although I'm allowing myself one little chocolate square per day for a certain fix; trust me that's been cut down too, from 3 to 1. And I am on day 5 of my holiday detox (from junk food and reduction in sugary foods). Day 5 is piddly, but I need to say it out loud so that I can challenge myself to at least double and then triple it this time!! No more holidays or parties to excuse myself from trying to be a healthy granola nut! teehee :-)

Tuesday, August 12

Hamster overload!

My husband so graciously, one day a week ago, showed our 2 yr old daughter this video of the "Hamster Dance" song on youtube...

Well, now that is all she asks for!! Driving home from daycare; walking to Mamere and Papere's house (grandparents); and/or eating supper it's: "Mamma, hamsta song, hamsta song!! Pleeeeeease," while tiliting her head sideways, smiling, batting her eyelashes and pleading with me with those innocent, manipulating and beautiful 2 yr old hazelnut-cream eyes at me (snap out of it mommie!).

Honestly, where does she get this from?!

Listening to this little video/song drives me completely BONKERS! I'd like to ram this little rodent with my broomstick! Ahh, shad-up!

But anyways, here it is for you to go crazy over...make sure you play it over and over and over and over and over and....

And hey. You could play it while doing the housechores! Right-o then! ;0)



Let's try this again...

From August 11, 2008

Well, I'm not complaining...I just had 2 weeks of holidays and it was a blast! The first week was unplanned as my sister came into town for a surprise visit. So I took the extra week off and needless to say, my eating (and drinking-margaritas!) was off...really off. But I didn't gain as much as I thought I might. Only 5.5 lbs as of today (after 3 days back on the wagon). I think all the exercise and weight training really helps the metabolism 'eat it up' better than if I had not been doing that.

So am currently detoxing my body from the junk food of which I'm really addicted to. Boy, your body does some crazy stuff when it gets that crap into it for more than a day or two in a row...tummy torture but so hard to quit it (eating)! My tummy if finally (after 3 days) starting to feel normal again. And the bloating is going down significantly.

So I'm back at it; eating healthy and exercising that is. Gym today and everyday (with a 2 day break weekends). I'm also looking to cut back my sugar this time around especially after realizing how addicted to it I really am. Plus, I don't want my daughter relying on sugary snacks for the rest of her life. I've been feeding them to her too often lately out of not knowing what else to give her but I am in search for new, healthier snack ideas. So those sugary snacks are out the door and natural, healthy foods are in the plan and what I want her to learn from now on. So here we go...again! Just this time, with a new twist ;)

Made it!!

From July 25, 2008

Woohoo!!! I made it with 1 lb loss this week! Hey, with the way things have been going for the past 6 months, I'll take ANY weight loss!!!

I feel like sharing my (boring, haha) weight loss story or background. It helps me to reflect what I've gone through, how far I've come and the mistakes I've made, in hopes that I don't make them again. Here goes:

I was always a chubby girl/teenager. Even in my 20's. But by then I was more up and down and had some 'thin' months. I never really thought about how to eat properly (or healthily I should say) until my early 20's when I tried Slimfast. It worked a little bit but it also made me think about veggies and just plain eating healthy. I kind of went through my university years in limbo and maintained my chubbiness but exercised fanatically in the meantime. I also always ate with my emotions, unaware.

Then in 2005, I was having trouble finding work and got accepted to an overseas internship and left my hubby behind for almost 6 months to go work in Norway. That trip changed my life and my outlook on life. I started counting calories and made an conscious effort to eat healthily and to reduce my binge/emotional eating habits. I became more confident in myself, started wearing make-up and dressing nice (the clothes fit me now!). I returned home for summer and then left my poor hubby again to go to graduate school. I went from 200 to 155, the lightest I'd ever been in my adult life. A total of 45 pounds. I still had a ways to go but was on the right track.
Then I unexpectedly got pregnant when I came home for Christmas...well, honestly me and DH missed each other so much we probably did it on purpose! haha! So after some stresses in grad school, I took a break from it and came back home to work until baby arrived. I did good at first and then at about 5-6 months, my binging habits started coming back and I didn't push them away. I actually remember eating so much each nite that I was literally ready to burst...so uncomfortably full. Not normal. Again, I consider this to be emotional eating. I wasn't used to being around my hubby and wasn't used to being pregnant and still hadn't (obviously) thought of concrete ways to deal with my emotions. However, after having a beautiful baby girl in Sept 06, I started losing weight right away and was doing really good for the first year. By her first birthday, I just had 10 lbs to get back to pre-preggo weight (155). But for some reason, I just let myself go again. I don't really know why...some reasons I can think of may be that I was depressed with my career (I actually got a good job but had my eye on another job that I'd been trying to get for some time and was really getting the run around from it) and living back in a small town. I just wasn't happy with what I had. So I guess I ate away my feelings at this point. By Christmas 07, I had gained back a good solid 10 lbs. January 2 (of course right), I decided that enough was enough and to get back on the weight loss bandwagon. Although, out of initial desperation, I was literally starving myself by not eating enough calories. I think this, in turn, has affected the last 6 months of trying to llose those blasted 10 lbs. It's been a SLLOOOW go but finally, TODAY, I've lost them!!! And the weight seems to be coming off at a more regular pace again, FINALLY!!! I'm so happy!!

I know this may be some mundane stuff for some people out there, but for me it is a revelation, a process...it is my exciting journey to a happier life and a healthier lifestyle with my family.
I still have 10 lbs to get to my pre-preggo weight (and a total of 41 more pounds to go) but I've learned many, many things along the way and struggled with so many things! And to do it the healthy, balanced way is the BEST way that I feel it can be done!! And after this last round of what I feel like was the repairing of my damaged metabolism (c'mon, 6 months to lose 10 lbs, PHEW!), I am truly gonna NIP these weight-loss duties in the BUD! Yah!

Now...I just need to come up with some coping mechanisms for when I get emotional...hmm...something to seriously ponder and then do!