I read later on that Mexican food is a natural inducer.....
Well had I known that I would NOT have eaten that burrito,
(with hot sauce) at lunch-time! :/
(And I just happened to also read that pineapple is also an inducer....
NOTE to self: do not eat that yummy pineapple all nicely cut up in the fridge! WAH!)
I'm not sure how 'true' these wives-tales are
but let me just say that I do finally remember what labour pains feel like again.
I had totally forgotten what they felt like
and was second-guessing myself about what was real.
But after last night....OWOWOW!!
(and they were very mild labour pains)
Of course they were obviously not entirely 'real',
as they did not continue on (thank goodness!).
Today we pick up Jody's mom at the airport and she will stay with us for the next few months to help out and visit. I'm looking forward to a little extra help this time around. I want to try and take care of myself too so that I am a better mommy.
And so today is basically the LAST full day that I will EVER be pregnant again...I think I'm going to eat some ice cream (not like I've been refraining or anything! heheh).
So, yes, tomorrow is the BIG day. I've decided, against all my previously "ONLY NATURAL" options. I've realized that sometimes natural birth doesn't happen despite all the hardwork and trying after ~50 hours of serious back labour and "failure to progress", was the medical term (I've heard back labour is the most excruciating type but it's really all I know and remember).
I've already experienced the heartbreak and trauma of having that hope torn from me (Brooklyn was an emergency cesarean after all that labouring and I went from my ideal natural birth to a TOTALLY UN-natural birth).
Many times since then I seriously thought I had been unduly manipulated and 'persuaded' by the doctors who I fought most with until the last minutes of each UN-natural intervention (getting medivacked, epidural, c-section etc)....but now that I think about it...after being in labour for that long, I still hadn't gone through the pushing which I heard can take many hours, especially with the first child. And I can, now, potentially see why, after 50 hours of physical labour and being totally spent even though I was FINALLY at 9cm dilated (BUT with still a 'lip') that they "highly recommended" I do the emergency cesarean. And also thinking about my water which had been broken for over 24 hours by then as well (infection rates rise after this period).
Anyhow, that is basically my first birth story in a nutshell. Very traumatic for me and I never really got over it until forcing myself to come to terms with it until....
And so considering all of that and as well as our current circumstances and being so far away from home (again) and Jody only being able to take off 2 days max of school (he is my anchor, my support, we are a team, he is my ROCK, I would be lost without him if he wasn't there), I've opted for a repeat, planned cesarean.
Not my ideal choice but this is one decision that took me months to think about and finally decide. It was really something I would have never considered otherwise, if it were not for our current circumstances. But also, with this option, I do know more of what to expect. And having to labour again for ~50 hours is not very appealing to me especially if, need be, I did (for some reason) need that emergency cesarean again.
So in the end, I will not get my VBAC, but I will get my baby and that's all that matters in this world anyways.
Anyhow, wish us luck on our big day tomorrow! =)
(seriously, if you've ever had a c-section while being wide awake,
you would be too!--it's the FREAKIEST experience EVER!)
But in spite of it all
I am very hopeful that my recovery will go smoothly
and I think bonding with baby this time around will be even more profound due to the fact that I know what to expect and I won't feel as traumatized or torn.
So I've just discovered, in the nick of time, that I have 9 days worth of sick-leave left (I'm clean out of any vacay time so sick leave is all I have to cling to!)! Which means my midwife *will* be writing me a note to stay home starting in 2 weeks!!!!! And so that will cut my "weeks-left-of-working" countdown from 4 weeks....to 2 weeks now!!!!!!
I don't think I've ever been this excited to be done work before. EVER!! It's probably just because I know how physically and mentally exhausting and stressful this time can be. I worked up until the very last minute before having Brooklyn (went into labour with her on Labour Day, go figure, heheh!)...and that last month of working while being asbig as a boat was NOT a fun experience!
Plus, I'll already have enough on my mind...we are also moving, in 4 weeks, for a whole 2 months to the big city down South. Jody has to attend his 2nd year of apprenticeship school and I have to give birth in a city anyways ... (this little town is not equipped for potentially complicated pregnancies which I am categorized as, due to my previous emergency c-section).
So we just decided that it would be more than worthwhile for me and little B to go with him this time around....however expensive that may be. After all, I cannot imagine being totally alone, with no close family support, while giving birth. Because this is what would actually happen if I had chosen not to go South with Jody; they would actually send me to the closest city which is way up North!!! This is one of the downsides to living in a small, isolated Northern community ..... and this scenario just outright gives me a heart attack and makes me angry when women up North here have no choice but to do this!
So anyhow, with the end of that big tangent....
all I have to say about the next 2 weeks of work that I have left is:
So I've been thinking a lot lately...and my latest decision in life was to extend my mother-in-law's visit that was initially for 3 weeks to 5 weeks....and now I have, once again, extended it (from slow-thinking/decision-making issues due to pregnancy-brain) to include ALL SUMMER, ha! I don't think she has any qualms about it...in fact I am quite certain that she is tickled pink (and blue!) that she gets to spend the extra time with her grandchildren. We are flying her over in March, right before baby arrives and she will stay with us right up until September, if all works out okay.
And as far as raising children goes...I admit it. I need help. Chances are childbirth recovery will be difficult for me (especially if I have another cesarean) along with catering to a newborn every 2-3 hours for feedings ALL day, EVERY day for the first 3-4 months. And that in addition to having a 3 year old, who has, lately, been acting like she is 13(!!!), will be difficult for me to handle. I can foresee it now.
I may sound like a sissy whiner to all those parents out there who have many children, but oh well....since becoming a mom, the phrase "ittakes a village to raise a child" has never rang more true for me. But of course, as tough as it is sometimes, I would NEVER trade parenthood in the world for anything else and I'm quite excited to welcome a new baby into my world once again very soon! =)
Countdown for baby = 8 weeks!!!!
I also just came across some photos the other day
that my husband took while on a work trip
(well ok; it was really a half work, half fishing trip...
or better yet, a 1/4 work, 3/4 fishing trip! hehe)
that he was lucky to take last year in April,
right before his dad's health took a drastic turn for the worse...
He grew up fly-fishing off the coasts of Newfoundland
and he ABSOLUTELY LOVES to fish.
And in the 7 years of me moving him up here to live up North,
this was only his 2nd official Northern fishing trip (the poor guy)
(you have to flyout
to the lakes up here in order to get the good fishing
and this can be very expensive).
So I thought I'd share a few snapshots
of one of his adventures. And he took some beautiful pictures, I must say! =)
Enjoy a few images of the Great White North (at Thekulthili Lake; pronounced Teh-kull-tee) in the springtime:
My very sexy & proud fisherman with his catch of Lake Trout & (mostly) Jackfish (Northern Pike)!
And we're going to be cooking up one of these bad boys this very weekend!!! YUM! =)
Yes, another countdown for me to excitedly occupy myself with...
Let me just say that I can't really complain that I have a job. Especially in these unsure times. However, for the past few months, things have slightly gone to the sh-ts and everything (in most departments; not just mine) has been put on a sort of 'hold' due to recent developments from the summer and so on. A hold where you still come in to work every day but only perform the measly tasks at hand...day in and day out. For, I dunno, 6 months straight. It has been this way for most of the office staff anyhow. And I don't really handle boredom all that well. Or feeling non-important and non-existant. I actually despise it...I've only stuck it out because of the money, the lack of other job opportunities in this place and because my husband is in the middle of his apprentice and I am waiting a few years until he is done so we can move the "H-E-double hockey sticks" outta here!
Needless to say, I've been going slightly out of my mind alternatively *trying* to focus on my literature thesis review during this "down-time", but instead have proceeded to become way too pre-occupied with this pregnancy. For example, I could have easily been busy reading and writing for my literature review but, go figure, when all in life turns stagnant so does the brain when it comes to doing a little bit of research. It has been difficult to sit and concentrate on reading (verrrry boring articles) for hours on end while feeling nautious, heartburny and freakin' hormonal. I'm not saying I couldn't have done it, I'm just saying I didn't, and that those are my (however pitiful) excuses.
So anyhow, I've got 6 more weeks left until I officially start my maternity leave...YAYYY!!! I am taking the FULL year off this time (not just 7-8 months like last time). In fact, maybe longer to spend (what I feel is) much more time and well-needed energy with my glourious and beautiful babies at home. I think they deserve more mommy-time and I obviously have been needing more baby/kid-time too. Heck, I may even start my own consulting business (later on) and work here and there, and whenever I gosh-darn feel like it!
I just figure that, even if this job is still available to me once I'm done my mat. leave, that sometimes all the money in the world just isn't worth the happiness that will continuously be seeped from my veins due to a detrimental and lagging work environment.
So anyhow, this 'revelation' is kind of ironic for me now, because 3 years ago today I was sitting in my house, actually ON maternity leave with my first beautiful baby (not even 5 months into it), and bless her soul, I was on the opposite end of the spectrum and seriously toiling and fretting on life and how important it is that I get that "perfect" job....only to realize a few months later after I *did* get the job and lived it for awhile (way too long if you ask me!) that it's just not everything in the world and is definitely not what I want anymore. Atleast not at this point in my life.
Funny how things change like that. But I gather it's perfect timing. =)
10 more weeks to go, give or take a week (hopefully NO MORE--goodness!!!).
I am actually feeling better with more energy than I have felt for the first time in this whole pregnancy. The second trimester is traditionally *supposed* to be the "honeymoon" period, however, this time with me, it seems that the 3rd trimester is "the one"...weird. But I'll take it!
That is surprisingly nice, especially after 7 months of dragging my behind! I'm still dragging it with being this MUCH heavier and the pressure that put on the body. But I think I quite prefer having this extra energy, regardless. Crooked pains and all.
Anyhow, here is my 7.5 month picture: today.
And BOY, is this baby a KICKER!
I think we've got a pro soccer player cookin' it up in there!! heheh!
Here is my little sweetheart getting caught off-guard.
So pretty, I just love her! =)
She has been quite trying these days...but I've realized that, as a mom, I have been too. So this week I've decided not to be such the strict disciplinarian that I had recently taken on being (due to increased stress levels and feeling so crappy). And to just let go of the little nit-pickity things that I pick at her for doing (you know it's bad when you become VERY annoyed with hearing yourself NAG so much! OY.). And since then, I've already noticed a more positive change with her. And myself too. Parenting is definitely a struggle at times, but when things are going smoothly with less, so-called, head-butting and more gentleness, it really is so much more FUN! =)
AND NOW FOR THE FUN!! =)
Here is Brooklyn playing dress-up
in her new dress-up clothes on Christmas day!
Such a doll!
Her papérè wanted to play along also!! hahah!
(By the way, he naturally has blackish hair, hehe)
This guy is a one-of-a-kind, crazy dude!
I love my daddy! =)
Oh and PS - the turkey turned out AWESOME!!!!
My husband was in control of it and he did a wicked job!
I should have taken more pictures but was so busy I didn't even think of it!
I worked on the homemade stuffing and
we both pitched in for the rest of the dishes & goodies.
And we ended up having WAY too much food for just the 7 of us...
So lesson learned but it was a great experience too!
I hope you all, also, had a wonderful holiday season!!
And all the absolute BEST WISHES for this new year, 2010!!! :)
I am a full-time working mom living in the Canadian Far North. I'm a true Northerner at heart, still residing in "The Last Frontier". I have two young wonderful children, a fantastic husband and a special love affair with handmade jewelry which I'm now delving into creating.