From July 25, 2008
Woohoo!!! I made it with 1 lb loss this week! Hey, with the way things have been going for the past 6 months, I'll take ANY weight loss!!!
I feel like sharing my (boring, haha) weight loss story or background. It helps me to reflect what I've gone through, how far I've come and the mistakes I've made, in hopes that I don't make them again. Here goes:
I was always a chubby girl/teenager. Even in my 20's. But by then I was more up and down and had some 'thin' months. I never really thought about how to eat properly (or healthily I should say) until my early 20's when I tried Slimfast. It worked a little bit but it also made me think about veggies and just plain eating healthy. I kind of went through my university years in limbo and maintained my chubbiness but exercised fanatically in the meantime. I also always ate with my emotions, unaware.
Then in 2005, I was having trouble finding work and got accepted to an overseas internship and left my hubby behind for almost 6 months to go work in Norway. That trip changed my life and my outlook on life. I started counting calories and made an conscious effort to eat healthily and to reduce my binge/emotional eating habits. I became more confident in myself, started wearing make-up and dressing nice (the clothes fit me now!). I returned home for summer and then left my poor hubby again to go to graduate school. I went from 200 to 155, the lightest I'd ever been in my adult life. A total of 45 pounds. I still had a ways to go but was on the right track.
Then I unexpectedly got pregnant when I came home for Christmas...well, honestly me and DH missed each other so much we probably did it on purpose! haha! So after some stresses in grad school, I took a break from it and came back home to work until baby arrived. I did good at first and then at about 5-6 months, my binging habits started coming back and I didn't push them away. I actually remember eating so much each nite that I was literally ready to burst...so uncomfortably full. Not normal. Again, I consider this to be emotional eating. I wasn't used to being around my hubby and wasn't used to being pregnant and still hadn't (obviously) thought of concrete ways to deal with my emotions. However, after having a beautiful baby girl in Sept 06, I started losing weight right away and was doing really good for the first year. By her first birthday, I just had 10 lbs to get back to pre-preggo weight (155). But for some reason, I just let myself go again. I don't really know why...some reasons I can think of may be that I was depressed with my career (I actually got a good job but had my eye on another job that I'd been trying to get for some time and was really getting the run around from it) and living back in a small town. I just wasn't happy with what I had. So I guess I ate away my feelings at this point. By Christmas 07, I had gained back a good solid 10 lbs. January 2 (of course right), I decided that enough was enough and to get back on the weight loss bandwagon. Although, out of initial desperation, I was literally starving myself by not eating enough calories. I think this, in turn, has affected the last 6 months of trying to llose those blasted 10 lbs. It's been a SLLOOOW go but finally, TODAY, I've lost them!!! And the weight seems to be coming off at a more regular pace again, FINALLY!!! I'm so happy!!
I know this may be some mundane stuff for some people out there, but for me it is a revelation, a process...it is my exciting journey to a happier life and a healthier lifestyle with my family.
I still have 10 lbs to get to my pre-preggo weight (and a total of 41 more pounds to go) but I've learned many, many things along the way and struggled with so many things! And to do it the healthy, balanced way is the BEST way that I feel it can be done!! And after this last round of what I feel like was the repairing of my damaged metabolism (c'mon, 6 months to lose 10 lbs, PHEW!), I am truly gonna NIP these weight-loss duties in the BUD! Yah!
Now...I just need to come up with some coping mechanisms for when I get emotional...hmm...something to seriously ponder and then do!
Broken and Infinite
2 weeks ago